The Birth of Little J and how we're doing

Now that J is just over a week old, I thought I'd take a few minutes here and there to type up his birth story. Somehow finding time to write it all at once isn't going to happen.

The Tuesday evening before he was born, I found out my mom was flying up. My sister's dog was going into renal failure and she was distraught over having to put the dog down. Stephen agreed to pick Mom up at the airport saying that he'd rather miss a bit of work than have me stuck on I-95 in labor. How prophetic that was as I ended up going into labor when he was picking her up!

Wednesday morning was full of calls with my sister as she arranged for a travelling vet to come to her house and put Zoe down. Plus, calls with my dad and mom about the whole travel schedule and timing for Stephen to pick her up. While on the phone with my dad, I realized that I was having more contractions than normal (and not all caused by J stretching in utero!) I told the boys to grab their 'birth bags' with things they'd need in case they had to stay overnight at some one's house. I also had them put my bag into the van before heading out for a regularly scheduled appointment with the midwife.

While I drove down for the appointment, I noticed the contractions were there but quite manageable and not to the point of declaring me to be in labor. We arrived a bit early for the appointment which worked out well as the midwife had cancellations and took me back shortly after my arrival. I joked with the staff that maybe this little one had run out of stretching room and might be ready to come out. Normally I would refuse a cervix check at an appointment, but went ahead just to see if anything was happening. It was around 2 p.m. and the midwife declared me to already be at 3 cm dilation with some thickness left. I had a contraction while walking out talking with her and she felt my huge belly to see how it felt. She said it was definitely a contraction and to call when I thought there was a regular pattern setting in. I told them I'd just take the boys to the park down the road and see what happened thinking that sleep deprivation and stress was causing the contractions. I'm glad that's what I did rather than driving back towards home!

After 15 minutes at the park, I'd counted three good strong contractions and called Stephen to see where he was on the drive from the airport. I told him I thought it was time and I'd call the homeschool families we're friends with in that area to see about dropping the boys off. Well, God must have done some serious orchestrating as one family had both cell and home phones going to voice mail and the other had a few kids ill with the flu. So, I called Stephen back and said he needed to ask my sister if the boys could come there knowing she really didn't want them around during this difficult transition she was experiencing. After some discussion, she agreed and I told them I'd drive there as it was on route to the hospital. A quick call was made to the midwives to say that I thought it really was labor (6 contractions in under 30 minutes with the intensity growing) and I was headed to the hospital.

The drive to my sister's place seemed like forever, especially when I got stuck behind someone in the left hand lane going 10 mph below the speed limit. Contractions were definitely regular and I was having to focus my breathing to get through them. When I pulled into the parking lot at my sister's, I had to wait a minute before getting out as I had no desire to move during the contractions. The boys were given outside yard work to do with strict orders to be quiet and stay in the backyard until my mom retrieved them. Stephen chatted for a few minutes with the travelling vet who'd arrived just a few minutes prior. I stopped by the front door to see my sister and mom as well as say good-bye to Zoe (who was happy to see me as usual.) Mom later commented that she thought I was very early in labor as I seemed to be calm and in good spirits. Guess my acting skills are still around as I sure didn't feel like it was still early labor.

Stephen drove to the hospital and the contractions started getting much closer together (2 to 3 minutes in between) and longer durations (1 to 1 and half minutes that I counted out as I tried to breathe through them.) I remember telling Stephen as we approached the hospital that I didn't think I could make it through without drugs this time as it just seemed so much harder than when I had D. Getting admitted took a few minutes (that seemed like a LONG time) and then giving a urine sample for them took a while as I had a few contractions during that process. After about 15 minutes in the triage room, the midwife on call arrived and after checking me said I'd dilated to 5 cm and was completely effaced. The time on the clock was 4 p.m., so 2 hours after the initial check had me at 3 cm.

A short while later they moved me to a LDRP room. Since it was a reasonable distance to the assigned room, they offered to wheel me down. The movement felt good as I was feeling exceptionally hot and appreciated the little 'breeze.' Contractions kept intensifying and breathing alone no longer felt right. I switched to a low 'moan' and was swiveling at the hips sitting Indian style. Stephen got a wet facecloth and the nurse brought me ice chips upon request which helped some with the feelings of boiling over. By 5 p.m., I asked about an epidural. I guess the midwife was surprised by my request having had D at home with no pain meds, but she had the nurse place the call. I remember asking the nurse how long until they could place one and she said about 15 minutes. Well, that 15 minutes stretched a bit longer as it took forever to get the IV placed (3rd attempt had it near the crook of my elbow as the others blew out and are still quite bruised.) One thought I remember having was that they were making it take forever so that I'd be too far along to have it placed. As if there is a conspiracy among medical professionals to deny women an epidural!

When they were about ready for placement (around 6 p.m.), the midwife checked again to make sure labor was progressing. I was at 8 cm and remember thinking she'd say "sorry, you're too far along for the epidural." But, they went ahead with it and the contractions seemed even more intense in the hunch backed position you have to hold for the placement. It took well with the pressure of the contractions still there, but no more sensation of pain. I felt completely exhausted and rested on my side as my body continued the process and soon had me at full dilation.

After the midwife found I had reached 10 cm, I was told that I should tell them when I started to feel the sensation to push. It wasn't long before I did and we started that phase of the birth. I started pushing on my side, but then was switched to a modified squat. A little while later it was changed again to being flat on my back with legs pulled towards me. What I didn't know then (but Stephen had observed) was that J's heart rate kept dipping into the 60s during the contractions/pushing with no real recovery (beyond occasionally coming up to around 90.) The OB was already in the room per the practice's policy for VBAC patients. At the midwife's urging, he attempted to use the vacuum extractor. But, it didn't work (slipped off once) and I could literally feel J hitting bone and his little booty pushing up on my rib cage.

Next thing I knew, I was being whisked off for the emergency cesarean. All I could think about was that I'd "caved" by getting the epidural to ease my pain and might have caused the problems. Stephen wasn't permitted in the room and while I had an epidural in place the OB told the anesthesiologist to use general anesthesia. I had been lying on my side during transport down the hall and the initial check of J's heart rate by a nurse had it back up to around 120. But, after a minute on my back the OB's check couldn't even get his heartbeat, just the umbilical cord which didn't sound good to him.

It was almost 2 hours later that I woke up in recover with Stephen on one side and little J under a warmer with a nurse on my other side. I think I spent almost 30 minutes just crying (something I had fought hard to not do while being carted down the hall for the cesarean.) Unlike my emotions after D's birth, I felt slightly disconnected from this little babe. About 45 minutes after I woke, I was able to nurse J and he took to nursing much easier than I anticipated given the cesarean birth. That night had me getting only about an hour of sleep as the times when the nurse did take J down to the nursery for me had my head spinning trying to make sense of the whole experience. While I was happy that both he and I were well, it's hard to shake that mama guilt over choices made that might have affected things. Talking about it some has helped, but I still get teary eyed when I think about everything almost 2 weeks later.

I found out a bit about the surgery, etc. from the OB who performed it as well as one of the nurses that was in the room. Apparently, he came out screaming the second his head was clear (and body still to be pulled out.) This really surprised them as they were expecting a less 'robust' baby emerging. Also, the OB thought maybe there had been cord wrapping or something else physical that would have led to his decels during pushing. But, it was all good. I did get comments about the amount of scar tissue from my previous cesarean (12 years ago) which didn't completely surprise me as I have had pains when rolling from my back to right side for years. The OB did say it was an unusual pattern circling the uterus so that it almost 'split' it into 2 sections with the lower one more bulging and thin compared to the top part. He also advised that if we have more children in the future I should opt to schedule a cesarean rather than risk another VBAC attempt. I'm not sure how I feel about this right now, but I do know that Stephen was sufficiently scared to wonder if having another child is even an option for us.

So, there is a not so condensed version of J's birth. I did joke with one of the nurses that I should have expected a completely different birth with this pregnancy. I have now experienced a schedule cesarean due to baby position (breech with a little foot that couldn't make up it's mind!), a hospital VBAC with vacuum assist (full posterior position), a waterbirth at home (with compound presentation and waters intact), and now a "emergency" cesarean after a failed vacuum assist (as little J has a full head of hair that made it hard to maintain suction.) Little J is doing well and at 6 days old had regained over half of the lost birth weight (8 lbs 15 oz. as measured by a home health nurse.) I'm healing physically with less need for pain meds now. Emotional healing is coming along more slowly and I am being vigilant that I don't start slipping into postpartum depression.

I am so grateful for all the friends and family members that have helped during this time. Several local homeschool friends have been bringing us meals so I don't push myself trying to feed the family. This little guy also has several new outfits which are greatly appreciated as the other boys were born when weather was still warm so that only the onesies and sleepers were the right size. P is learning about caring for a newborn having been instructed on holding, burping, and changing by Stephen. He doesn't like to handle soiled diapers on his own, but any help is welcomed. The other boys think J is just the greatest thing in the world (and I wish I could have captured their excitement upon first seeing him ~ they just glowed!) Not that J crying is something any of them enjoy, and it usually ends in him being quickly passed to me to nurse and soothe.

There's a new boy in town....

Our fourth son decided to come into the world this past Wednesday evening. Not only was the way I carried him completely different from his older brothers, but he broke our prime number birthday pattern the other boys have going.

Having just returned from the hospital this afternoon and operating on very little sleep (just under 6 hours over 3 days), I'll have to share the birth story later. But, I wanted to post a few pictures as I know some are anxious to see him.

Little J was born by emergency cesarean on 10/28 at 6:45 p.m. weighing in at 9 pounds 5 ounces and measuring 21 inches. As you'll see, lots of hair. And, for those who don't know, that particular date is the feast of St. Jude. Stephen is convinced someone was looking out for him and me. I'm wondering just how much bigger he would have been if following the 41 week 3 or 4 day birth pattern of the older boys.

Here's Little J a few hours after birth when we were in our postpartum room.


Little J and I the morning after the birth.

TOS Crew Review: American Heritage Education Foundation

One of the latest products our family has been reviewing this year is actually available to educators for FREE. I can't think of the last time I could say that for a review product!

America's Heritage: An Adventure in Liberty is a series a pdf files based on educational level (elementary, middle school and high school) that seeks to use a character education approach to American History, The individual lessons provided are arranged chronologically with a suggested month for study. Each is also labeled with the theme (freedom, unity, progress or responsibility) that best fits the lesson. The lessons also refer to readings from Core Knowledge that work with the material being covered. Any handouts for the student are included at the end of each lesson.

This product is not necessarily a 'plug and go' approach to teaching American History. There is some preparation involved on the part of the educator. And, these lessons are meant to supplement materials already in use.

Each lesson has a slightly different approach to help the material come to life. Games and puzzles definitely get a thumbs up from the boys compared to reading a selected text and filling out a worksheet to assess knowledge. Both types of learning are incorporated into this curriculum. So, we have selected those activities that work best for our family. Rather than pass out assessment sheets to the boys, we can verbally discuss the documents we've read together.

My primary focus for this review has been on the elementary level with glances through the older levels. Some of the games (e.g. The Monarchy Game in the first lesson) are used across the different levels. Other materials (e.g. puzzles) are geared for the specific grade level.

As we are trying to finish working our way through world history, the boys have not used many of the lessons available through American Heritage. When we study American History in more detail next year, I plan to more fully utilize this great (free!) resource.

If you are looking for ways to supplement your family's study of American History, definitely take time to visit the American Heritage website. The pdf files for each level are available for free as a download. You can also request all three levels on one CD for free. The only time you need to purchase is if you want the printed materials. At $19.95 per level, the printed material option is still a relatively low cost for some families using an ink jet for printing.

As always, you can read what other TOS Crewmates are saying about this product on the TOS Homeschool Crew Page. Like other TOS Review products, this was provided to me at no cost and no other compensation was given to me for the review. All opinions are my own.

TOS Crew Review - AVKO

With one struggling speller in the house, I have been on the hunt for new programs or approaches to help him learn how to spell well. AVKO is one company I had heard about with their primary product being Sequential Spelling. I took a quick glance a while back, but tried to persevere with the materials I'd already bought to try.

As part of the TOS Crew, I was recently provided with a membership to AVKO's website. At first, I wondered if the materials would be of much benefit in our homeschool since we do not own any of the Sequential Spelling levels they have for sale. From my first glance at all the audios and files the AVKO members have access to, I can honestly say that there is a wealth of information available that does not require use of Sequential Spelling.

One of the ebooks provided to AVKO members is The Teaching of Reading & Spelling:Starting from Square One. With this resource, you can design your own customized spelling program or use it to teach reading and spelling as your student learns the alphabet. They normally sell the revised edition for $59.95, but members of their site can download it in pdf format for free. How neat is that?!?

While Starting at Square One is intended for K and 1st grade or students lagging behind, they also offer The Teaching of Reading and Spelling to their members for free compared to the normal $59.95 for a printed version. This volume goes beyond the basics to help you implement the methods and philosophies AVKO promotes. There are also many other resources, including audio recordings of past presentations and resources for anyone working with a dyslexic student.

They have also partnered with Spelling City to have several different lists available for students to study and quiz. That particular website has been a favorite in our house for a while and I was excited to see this option as well.
I've had P using some of the lists available on Spelling City for his spelling during the countdown to baby weeks. And, you can create your own lists depending on what words are being worked on by your student(s).

AVKO membership is good for one year. An individual can purchase the membership for $25 while an institution price is $100 for the year. An overview of what is included is on the AVKO membership page. I will say that if you are looking for 'plug and play' resources, then this might not be the best fit. If you use Sequential Spelling and want more to supplement it or enjoy pulling together your own program, then this resource might just be a great fit for you.

As always, you can read what other TOS Crewmates are saying about this subscription product on the TOS Homeschool Crew blog. Also, I want to reiterate that this subscription was provided to me by AVKO at no charge in exchange for my personal review. No other payment has occured and the views expressed in this post are my own.

Making Strides in Swimming

Since they opened the Bear-Glasgow location in February 2008, we've been members of the Y in Delaware. Some months we've used it a LOT and there have been a few months where illness (or in the case of August, my feeling miserable in the heat) kept us away. When we've gone, we've really enjoyed the experience. I loved the child care availability plus their youth fitness room for the older boys. And, everyone has enjoyed the pools.

Since mid-September, we've been trying to really maximize our usage. With our upcoming move and birth of the baby, this is our last month of membership there. So, we've been headed over to use the pool 3 or 4 times each week. All this usage of the pool has seen a marked improvement in the boys' swimming skills. P and R have discovered somersaults in the water. But, it's D who's seen the most gain in ability.

Every child has to wear a wristband based on swimming ability. Red bands need a parent/guardian in arms reach and are encouraged to wear a life vest while in the water. Yellow bands mean the child has taken a swim test that showed they could swim half a length in the pool and tread water for 15 seconds. With a yellow band, they can be in the shallow half of the pool without needing a parent in arm's reach or go into the deep end with a parent. Green bands get total access to the pool having shown they can swim the length of the pool and tread water for 30 seconds.

Earlier in the month, R retook the swim test and went from a yellow band to a green band. This made P extra happy to have someone in the deep end with him. Well, the saying is "monkey see, monkey do" and D is known for accomplishing great things when he sets his mind to it. He started this month occasionally wearing a life vest to 'swim about' the shallow end and sometimes working with me on back floats and dog paddling. Then, D got a bit more confident and decided to keep working on his 'swimming' while I stayed close by.

We convinced Stephen to join us in the water on both of his Fridays off this month. On the first one, R took the swim test and got the green band (although it was almost a miss as the treading water was making him tired.) D saw this happening and started asking when he could take the test for a yellow band. He was getting better, but we weren't sure he was quite ready for it. But, come the following Tuesday during open swim one of the 'regulars' said I should just let him try. And, he did it! He was pleased as punch and couldn't wait to show dad his yellow band that evening.

Fast forward to yesterday. Waddling in to the Y, I told the boys that they should 'treasure' every day we get to the pool because it could be there last chance to swim for quite a while. D had been practicing more and more and spent half the time last Friday with Stephen and his big brothers 'exploring' the deep end. Yesterday D asked when he might try for the green band after swimming back and forth to the half way mark. We went over what was expected and he practiced treading water for 30 seconds to see if he could do it. The only concern he had was that R said he might have to swim under water and he currently refuses to put his face in the water.

So, out of the pool we went to ask the lifeguard at the desk about the swim test. No underwater swimming was required for the test which had D decide to give it his best try. The older gentleman using the far lap swim lane stopped swimming so D could do his test. Into the water he went, and then with lots of determination he swam the length of the pool without stopping and then did the 30 second treading of water. The lifeguard administering the test wasn't sure he was going to make it, but HE DID IT!

The last 20 minutes of our pool time yesterday had me floating with a noodle in the deep end as there was no way D was going to stay in the shallow end while his brothers were elsewhere in the pool. During that time, the baby started pushing further down into my pelvis. So, between the rain and expecting people this afternoon for a massive 'giveaway' at my house, we won't be at the Y for open swim this morning. But, I hope we can get back there a few more times this week as D was pleased as punch to show off that green band to Stephen last night. And, the lifeguards on duty yesterday said they've never had a kid go from red to yellow to green in under a month's time.

What can I say? I've got a kid who sets his sights on something and doesn't give up easily. I'll just be praying that the determination leads to great things down the line. After all, this is the child that at age 1 literally moved his oldest brother several inches across the kitchen by pushing P out of his way. And the same pattern has been set with his schoolwork (finished Hooked on Phonics level 5 a month ago and helps R with spelling at times.)

Here are a few pictures snapped during last Friday's swimming with dad time. Plus, of course, the all important 'show off the green band' photo I snapped yesterday.

Due Date Approaching and TONS to do

My 'due date' is this week, which honestly means little as the older boys were all late arrivals. Besides, I think many people have forgotten that the due date is just a mid point in the range of full term baby arrival.

While I do have moments when this baby feels ginormous and I'm ready to have them out, I am also thankful for the time to prepare for this big move to Alaska. I've invited friends over to shop from the items I'm giving away and then plan to have the remaining items carted off to charity. We also have a load of things to bring to a local consignment shop in hopes of making a few dollars without hosting a yard sale. Not sure what they'll take or what we'll make, but at least it's a quick process for me. Same goes for some of the homeschool books and other items I've listed for sale with local homeschool lists and Cathswap.

Some family members are not happy with this big move. But, one of them pointed out that it is the PERFECT time to be motivated to unclutter our lives. Considering all the boys are little magpies that collect random junk and call it a treasure, this is a blessing for us. And, I know that we wil be blessing others over the next 2 months as we part with many items.

With all we are doing in preparation for the move and baby, formal homeschool work is going by the wayside for a little while. Right now the boys are watching the CCC videos I'm selling to make sure they all work. So, I guess they'll have racked up over an hour of religion today. We're doing other educational videos and free reading as well. And, since this is the last week of our Y membership, I plan to visit the pool for open swim almost every day. So, I guess PE is covered. Finally, we have a few TOS Crew products to test that will help fill in some gaps. Depending on the new little one's temperament and how I feel, we might do some formal work before packing up current homeschool books for shipment. If not, I know that we will need something to occupy our time when we arrive for the cold, dark days of January in Alaska and 'formal' book work will probably be back in force.

TOS Crew Review - Virginia Soaps and Scents

Most of the products our family has reviewed as part of the TOS Crew have a definite educational slant. Some of the materials are on the fun side. But, getting a sampler of soaps, a shampoo bar, and a mini-kit for making your own laundry soap was on an entirely different spectrum for us. A big thumbs up from our family to Virginia Soaps and Scents for bringing a completely different level of fun to the TOS Crew this fall.



I have to honestly say that we don't give a lot of thought into what products we've used for cleaning either ourselves or our laundry. Often times, it is whatever was the best sale price. Or, in the case of bath products, what I was given as a gift by a family member.

Nothing we've used quite compares with these products. I love the yummy scents, although having 4 different scents arrive in one small box was a little overpowering. That was easily remedied by separating out the bars. Looking at the Virginia Soaps and Scents website only whetted my appetite for more with holiday scented soaps available (peppermint for Christmas time almost makes my mouth water!)

So far, all the boys and I have tested the shampoo bar. Compared to the heavily scented shampoo the boys usually use, they found the shampoo bar (ginger and lime) to smell more soapy. But, R really loves having shampoo in a bar format and wanted to know what other scent options there might be for him in the future. I've taken the advice of a few friends that use shampoo bars and do a vinegar rinse (diluted) after using the shampoo bar. I can honestly say that my hair seems to stay cleaner longer using the shampoo bar, but I also have not been using a bunch of hair care products lately that could 'gunk things up'.

The one product that really intrigued me was the mini-kit for mixing up laundry soap. Everything is already for you to just mix in a container and then use for your wash. I think the only items in the house that won't be seeing this product used are our cloth diaper wraps. Listening to other users of homemade laundry soap like this, I might consider adding vinegar for a second rinse.

If you are looking for a neat product choice for your upcoming holiday shopping, then please consider giving Virginia Soaps and Scents a look. My boys are already making a list of other scents they want to try. Since they go through periods of time when bathing seems like a chore, I am all for any product that encourages them to wash up a bit better. And, I really like the idea of supporting another homeschool family in the process.

As always, you can read what other TOS Crewmates are saying about these products on the TOS Homeschool Crew Board. Also, I want to clarify that the products were provided at no charge for our family to do this review. No other form of payment was received and the opinions expressed in this review are my own.